Rather than write a regular review, I will present my experience of playing the game as I played it. I was chatting with some friends as I played, and here is the chat log, with their comments removed for brevity:

Sirlin uh what is up with this

Sirlin a while ago I happened to read reviews of iOS Pitfall

Sirlin and everyone hated it, saying it was a fairly good game but the method of charging was totally terrible and way too much, way too required to progress, everyone said avoid

Sirlin right now it has 9,759 ratings, almost all of them 5/5

Sirlin ok I played the Pitfall game, I have a report

Sirlin it seems to be made by professional makers of games

Sirlin good controls, good production values, good art style, polish

Sirlin seems to have integration with various social medias and some sort of elaborate progression scheme or something to keep you playing

Sirlin hmm, if I reach a checkpoint (I didn't reach a checkpoint yet. Thanks) then I can spend a macaw token to start from there

Sirlin I can buy macaw tokens in the store

Sirlin Macaw token is gold.

Sirlin it costs 6000 silver bars + 10 diamonds

Sirlin oh man, this is so made by professional game makers

Sirlin I wondered how much diamonds cost to buy. In the store, one item is 8 dimaonds and it's FREE

Sirlin so that I get used to using the store

Sirlin I am amazed yet again by another thing

Sirlin I have a feeling this game is full of amazement

Sirlin Another store item is "2x treasure" and it costs $1.99. The picture is a silver bar transforming into a gold bar

Sirlin if you buy it, then all the silver bars you pick up as you play (there are tons, that's like the point) are gold bars instead, worth 2x as much

Sirlin "A great long term investment"

Sirlin I mean if I'm going to play the game, the earlier I buy this 2x gold upgrade the better!!!

Sirlin every time I play without buying it, I wasted something basically

Sirlin wow I can buy all sorts of barely different t-shirts for my guy, costing like $1 each sort of

Sirlin oh, this is confusing on their part

Sirlin actually the outfits are really different, but the icon for each outfit is a barely different t-shirt

Sirlin hmm how about 3d models of characters in Yomi, and you can buy alternate costumes

Sirlin I can buy consumable anti-venom tonics to cure bites and stings

Sirlin more amazement, it just does not stop

Sirlin today the bear outfit (one of the many you can buy) is the outfit of the day

Sirlin so it's free?

Sirlin no

Sirlin If I wear it, I get poison immunity today.

Sirlin So they could have made a poison immunity thing to buy, but this is even better because they can take away poison immune tomorrow.

Sirlin "Unlock the ability to get free diamonds in 5 more runs!"

Sirlin I get free treasure by liking them on Facebook, from within the app

Sirlin do you think it's even more incredible now, or the same level of incredible?

Sirlin if  you guessed more incredible, you're right

Sirlin I leveled up or something, twice. Also I passed a checkpoint

Sirlin and it tells me that now I can use Macaw tokens to start from there. To see how that works, press the store button

Sirlin already wow, but get this: you have to press the store button. You can't do anything else until you do

Sirlin then you can buy macaw tokens for 10 diamonds, by pressing the large pulsating button for that

Sirlin it's not optional!

Sirlin they give you some free diamonds to get you started

Sirlin and there is no way to do anything other than buy the macaw tokens right now. so again, they are training you to use the store.

Sirlin it's just never ending, the tricks

Sirlin now I died and there is a blue button restart

Sirlin OR

Sirlin a bigger, golden, gleaming, animated Macaw button to continue from last checkpoint

Sirlin By unlocking the checkpoint, I got 5 macaw tokens for free, but I can always buy more from the store!

Sirlin that's a line it said

Sirlin I clicked the blue restart button

Sirlin I would expect this to restart

Sirlin "ARE YOU SURE? Sure you want Harry to go all the way back to base camp, when you could use a *Macaw Token* to start at the last activated Checkpoint he passed?"

Sirlin I forgot to mention that each time I do a run, it starts with a sad horn honking sound as a t-shirt icon comes up that says "Outfit of the day: No Match"

Sirlin how do they keep topping themselves

Sirlin Now I unlocked the ability to get free diamonds!

Sirlin this sounds like a fantastic deal, who wouldn't want free diamonds

Sirlin I can click on "show me" to see how it works

Sirlin and it says by signing up for various offers, I can get the free diamonds now

Sirlin like sign up for discover card and freecreditscore etc

Sirlin I UNLOCKED the ability to do that lol

Sirlin wow I got a free diamond

Sirlin I completed one of the offers of watching a 30 second video

Sirlin I could get 106 diamonds for getting a free trial membership at freecreditscore.com though

Sirlin Playing this game feels like if Disneyland said "hey come to Disneyland free! As part of the experience, we will have a professional thief hold your wallet the whole time."

Some of these things are probably just good busines practice that I should consider for fantasystrike.com. More revenue means more ability to reinvest to make the site better. But taken all together, it's just so over the top in Pitfall, and the focus on money over actual game design is kind of frightening. It seems players are voting that that's what they want, as Pitfall on iOS has made a whole lot of money.

UPDATE: Hours later I turned on my iPad on the home screen, Pitfall notified me that my burst tonics have refilled, so it's a good time to get playing again.